New

So here's the deal. Life is different. If i could see myself now a year ago i wouldn't believe it.

People like me. I stand up for myself. School is working out. I have a great girlfriend. My friends are awesome. People like hanging out with me and find me interesting for some odd reason.

All i know is that i don't want it to end. I like this new life.

Life is so short.... why not live for the moment?
If this is how my heart is going to feel, why deny it?

The answer to both of these questions.... "Don't".

Leaving...

I have a feeling i'm going to be leaving soon.
Not anywhere far.
Just out of this house.
Things will be rough.
But i can survive.
It's time to show myself that i can be self sufficient.
I can survive when the chips are down.
It's only a matter of time....

To all the Girls

To all the girls who have told me "No".
To all the girls that have said "We're better off as friends".
To all the girls that decided to fuck me over while we were dating.
To all the girls that told me they were different, and then turned out to be the same.

Fuck You.
Your not worth my time.
And apparently, i was never worth yours.
Sleep well. :)

Tonight

My thoughts pour out of my mind in torrents.

But not onto paper, my keyboard, or into a basin that may one day fill...

They fall to the ground

I can almost hear them shatter around me as they fall

They are almost like water, but not

More like an Acidic liquid

They fall to the floor, but do not stay there

Through the floor they seep

Into the foundation of my home

And there they ripen and mature

Soon they rise back up into the air

And as i sleep, they fill my mind.... again

I will soon dream dreams best forgotten

Dreams that scour and scourge my mind

Dreams that purge all reason and logic from my concience

Dreams... Left for Dreamers.

What i think, and what i know.

I think that i've fucked up alot in the past.
I think that i've made decisions that were not what some would call "the best"
I think that i'm tired of being used by women.
I think that i'm done putting myself in bad places.
I think that I need someone who would want to make me happy for once.
I think that i'd like to feel cared for

I know that it's time to stop trying. It's getting me nowhere.

Alcohol

I'm tired of the fact that everybody seems to need to drink to survive.

What good has drinking ever done to anybody?

It just... bothers me, that the people close to me feel the need to get fucked up just so they can cope with their lives. Grow up, move on, and become an adult. A REAL adult. Someone who deals with their problems by means other then getting shitfaced.